reality

oh man i'm feeling awfully bored. and unmotivated. and sedentary. and lackadaisical. and NUAH. THIS IS MY DEFAULT SELF. HELP.

exams are in less than 3 weeks. i've covered less than i should have covered, knowing how long i take to understand things, and especially commit them to memory. my somewhat disinterest in what i'm studying doesn't help either.

well anyway.. i remember last week i realised... (and it's funny that i used the word 'realised'. ironic, somewhat) that reality is very hard to grasp. i realised (there i go again) that there are so many levels and shades of reality. how do you know that what you know is what is correct? and how do you know that we you see is all there is to it? i'm not talking about simply being ethnocentric here. what i'm trying to say is that it's more than that. okay i dont quite know how to describe it. but the issue here is far bigger than just considering ethnocentricity.

and i guess it's all the harder because sometimes you can't quite judge what's in your heart all the time. sometimes what motivates certain actions / behaviours is so.. subtle and faint. it's pretty hard to sift through your emotions. and then there's the issue of the interference of the mind. so often, when our actions / behaviours are called to question, we provide a logical, step-by-step, systematic breakdown of every single thing. well at least i do i think. i'm not saying that this is wrong, but perhaps there are some things that.. cannot be explained as easily / logically? okay. not quite sure where i'm going with this haha.

well in essence, reality is hard to grasp, whether it's within you, or in the universe.